Posted by Si Fi in
A question that baffles my senses that I have been asked my whole entire life is "What are you going to do next?" As if I should always know how to react to the worlds ups and downs. Is it me or is patience a virtue lost a long time ago? No one gives you a moment to just take in what has happened. One can not simply fail or fall down. You always have to have some sort of plan. As if it's not bad enough that a family member passes accidentally, you unexpectedly lose your job, your girlfriend dumps you without forewarning, or your car engine light flashes once before you clunk out on a major highway. Now that's a tough week! Who sees any of that coming? Should I walk around with pessimistic thoughts of futility in every positive situation that happens in my life? Questioning every good thing that I am blessed to endure. If you walk around sulking when times are good, how does one every enjoy the good? You can't. So I expect the good to continue to be great. I do not anticipate failure or do not expect pain. I hope for the best and expect that it shall happen as well. What ass said to expect the unexpected? If you expect the unexpected then it is therefore by definition predictable. Life is anything but predictable. So excuse me for being sad when sad things happen. Pardon the fuck out of me for not wallowing in self doubt and reacting horribly to my ex screwing my neighbor. No I didn't see that coming and why would I want to imagine such a horrid sight (especially since the dbag is twice my age and has the chest hair of a silver-back).
Hey call me a do gooder. A glass half full kind of guy. I got something for your "What's your next move?" question. Kiss my rectum because I am not thinking of the next move. I am hurt! I am mad! I am a sea of emotions! Yes and while I know I can't stay in this sea of turbulence I do believe I am entitled to react for a moment before simply moving on. Nothing of great emotions can be simply pushed through. If you do not deal with the baggage you carry it on to the next phase of your life and trust me I don't want to keep pain so shockingly fresh to continue past it's point. Hey hash it out. Get silly drunk with a best mate, or watch a sappy chick flick with a tub of Wal-Mart brand vanilla ice cream (not that I have any idea of this sort of healing process). Look you pansies call your mommy and cry about how it's not fair. It's okay! In this society of ours we bull through to many grieving time-frames hurriedly. What, you expect me to Tweet my discomforts and get a few responses of "stay strong homey" and magically I'm fine with one of the greatest individuals that has ever graced my life not being available indefinitely? A great Sopranos phrase comes to mind "Get the Fuck Outta Here!" Look I am a ball of energy that must release. I am the tension force of a bungee chord at the top of it's coil. I will literally implode if I can not have a healthy fucking few days to feel however I want to feel before thinking past these issues. Look I'm not saying that you should be watching Netflix for the next 6 weeks wasting away what little savings we as Americans can keep for ourselves amongst the insanely high taxes and expensive lifestyles!
What I'm saying is that we all should have the chance to grieve, mourn, cry, be angry, and or go crazy on our own time scale. Let the emotionally inept move right into the next saga of their life without properly channeling their emotions. Do not let them dictate your spacial thoughts on how to react to your life. You deal with it and do not allow some prick to rush you along trying to get you back working so Uncle Sam can get his ASAP. We all have a unique sense of how we react to certain situations. We are all entitled to react how we want with out hearing the ghastly remark, "So what's you next move?"
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